Fail again, Fail better.

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.”- Samuel Beckett

I first read this Samuel Beckett quote as a tenth grader whose much admired English teacher had just had a poem published in a literary publication that borrowed its title from this quote. I was struck by the directness of the words and the recognition that we all fail and the trick is learning to fail better.

This short quote has stuck with me and been sort of a grounding principle all of my life. During college and graduate school, I drew inspiration from this quote as I failed again and failed better while working on my poetry and other creative writing projects. When my husband and I moved to Chicago the day after our wedding so that I could be a part of Teach for America, I failed again and failed better as I went on interview after interview, and when I didn’t get hired by a school that year because Chicago Public Schools had their worst hiring year ever, thanks to the Great Recession, I kept failing again and better as a substitute teacher until finally, that failure paid off and I landed a teaching job at a charter school. But, my failing wasn’t done yet. As a first year teacher, I kept failing again and failing better while working with a difficult colleague and toxic principal.

Through this constant failure, I kept growing and won a teaching award from Teach for America, and my second year of teaching at the charter school was a joy, but failing again and better kept calling to me. My husband and I moved to Hendersonville, and I taught at a therapeutic boarding school for girls. As someone without a background working in mental health, this was a challenge, but I kept trying, failing, and failing better. Then came babies: the ultimate exercise in trying, failing, and failing better. 

Failure can be exhausting and frustrating. It can also be expansive and exhilarating. It’s the only way for us to grow as writers, teachers, parents, or whatever endeavor we so choose. The trick is asking will we fail better the next time? I have started five blogs over my life. Each has not lasted. My hope is that this blog will last. It will not be perfect, but it will fail better.

I hope to use this blog to explore topics that are meaningful to me and to draw together my interests in writing, yoga, and motherhood. I’m not a journalist even though I have great respect for journalists like Matt Taibbi and Glenn Greenwald, journalists who are principled and nuance and not afraid to ask hard questions. Instead, I want to use this blog as a place to explore where my interests intersect and to have conversations with people that delve deep into issues of mothering/parenting, yoga, politics, pop culture, and more.