Doula, Mother, Podcaster: Profile of Kelly Brown.
Kelly Brown is a birth and postpartum doula based in Western North Carolina. She and I first met when she was a guest speaker at a mother’s support group I was running several years ago, and ever since she and I connected, I have followed her on Instagram and always found her incredibly motivating and inspiring. When I decided that doing profiles something that I wanted to include in this blog, I knew Kelly was someone that I wanted to feature. You can find links to Kelly's socials and her website at the bottom of this profile, and her podcast, Maiden, Mother, Crone will be out soon.
MH: How did 2020 treat you and how has 2021 been treating you so far?
KB: 2020 January-March 1 was great! Personally, I had a trip planned with my siblings, and we haven’t seen each other in several years...it was going to be a siblings only weekend. He’s notorious for not making solid plans. Professionally, it was super hard because we were offering virtual support March 16th. I lost my relationship with my business partner. I tried to keep my brick and motor business (Trillium) open, and I had to let it go. Doing virtual services for doula clients, I think we might have found out on the 15th of March that we weren’t allowed in the hospital. Luckily, I only had six virtual clients, and then we were allowed back in the hospital in July or August. Personally, it was kind of awesome. It forced me to stop. Not having to be on the go and running was kind of awesome. It was good to slow things down.
2021 has been very busy. There has been an uptick in doula hires. I don’t think there are enough doulas in Asheville to make the work happen. It’s not hard to get hired right now, which is awesome.
MH: How long have you been a doula and what initially drew you to the birth world?
KB: I have been a doula for seven years. I got into this work with the birth of my first daughter, Sophia. All I had in my mind was the movie/tv version of birth. I knew that that wasn’t all there was. A water birth at home sounded kind of awesome, but we didn’t think the landlord would allow a waterbirth, so we stuck with a hospital. Second daughter was a homebirth. Labor took eight hours. I wanted to be a midwife. I found Chama’s [Chama Wodyak at Homegrown Babies] doula training, and I thought it would be a stepping stone to midwifery, but I never looked back.
I did two postpartum doula trainings, and I’m also a Lamaze childbirth educator. You get a different level of intimacy as a doula.
MH: Can you tell me about the Trillium Learning Center? How would you like to see it continue to grow?
KB: Ginny Parham and I were both doulas at Homegrown. She lives in Penrose and I live in Mills River. All of our regional hospitals have closed, which leaves a lot of women with no childbirth or doula options locally. Ginny and I met and gelled right away. Trillium is a WNC flower. It really blends all of the off shoots of what it means to be a pregnant person. We had our brick and mortar for 18 months before we ended up closing up that shop. But, I still offer online classes and support. My goal, since this whole pandemic started, is to launch my classes in an on-demand format. I really want them on-demand because I think the nature of work has changed forever.
MH: How has the pandemic changed the birth and postpartum world? Do you think any of those changes will be lasting?
KB: I think because people couldn’t have their mom, their best friend, whoever supporting them people have realized the importance of doula work. Being pregnant and postpartum during a pandemic is super isolating. I don’t think we’re going to see the [mental health] effects of the pandemic for five-ten years. People have had a completely different experience because of isolation. Postpartum is really isolating. It’s really sad, and it sucks. People are desperate for connection. There’s profound grief. Postpartum is always isolating.
MH: Why would you recommend a doula during or after pregnancy?
KB: I would recommend a doula because it’s the way we have been birthing for centuries. Traditionally, we have birthed in communities. It’s just a really different environment. I always like to say that as a birth doula I’m like your birth bestie in your back pocket. The emotional support goes so far. I do so much emotional support the whole time. We’re the catalyst for connection. Postpartum is the hardest time. It is so hard. People don’t have mom and dad next door. I have clients who have never held a baby before. It’s overwhelming.
In reference to her own experience with a postpartum mood disorder after the birth of her third child:
I don’t ever want another family to suffer like I did. On the outside, to someone looking in, everything was honky-doory fine, but on the inside I was a mess. I don’t want a mom to suffer. I don’t want a family to susuffer.
MH: What compels you to keep doing this work despite all the challenges and stressors?
KB: I have been able to make it work as my full-time job. I love babies. I love being a part of people’s journeys. It’s such a profound invitation into someone’s life (to witness their child’s birth). It’s really humbling and always surprising. I love getting to know my clients and their story. It’s just awesome to be a part of their story
MH: What advice would you give someone who is interested in becoming a birth or postpartum doula?
KB: Don’t be afraid of all the other doulas in town. If you have a family, have your backup care situation in place. Being open to reading and being open to learning from people who have been doing this work. Always be open to learning something at a birth. I check my expectations and assumptions at the door.
MH: Can you tell me about your upcoming podcast?
KB: Don’t know exactly when it’s going to launch...it’s called Maiden, Mother, Croan. I have interviewed people in the birth space. It’s going to be a combination of people in the birth space, birth stories, and wisdom from the generation older than us
MH: As a mom, doula, and business owner you have to have a lot on your plate. What self-care practices do you have?
KB: I’m usually pretty crappy at self-care. I do get my nails done. I usually get them done once a month, little pedicure and manicure. I like to drink wine. I don’t know if that’s self-care or self-sabotage sometimes. I recently started working out, and that is a shift in my self-care.
MH: As a fellow midwestern transplant,what’s your favorite part of living in WNC?
KB: I live in the mountains. I live here? It never ceases to amaze me how beautiful it is. I can just go into the woods and see five waterfalls. It’s amazing.
Kelly Brown's website is www.trilliumlearningcenter.com. Look for her podcast, Maiden, Mother, Croan out soon.