Being Seen
My son recently started third grade and came home with an All About Me worksheet that asked him to share different facts and facets of his life. This worksheet was then displayed in the hallway long with his classmates' work. This assignment was meant to build classroom community after a long summer break and to give the teacher a glimpse into their inner lives.
As I read over his worksheet, I saw that under the spot for favorite song, he wrote "none." When my husband and I asked why he didn't share one of his favorite songs, he spit out, " I didn't want to share ALL of my thoughts. They literally hang those up in the hallway."
And with that sentence, he was holding up a mirror to me.
There has always been a part of me that I keep guarded out of fear. Fear of rejection. Fear of failure. Fear of loss. I'm afraid if I was truly honest in my relationships that I would lose them, so there's always something I keep to myself.
A few months ago, I took a class called Yoga to Nurture your Inner Witch. This class was essentially an ecstatic dance class where we were invited to move intuitively and dance however we were called to. This was incredibly difficult for me. Ask me to do 108 Sun Salutes, and I will get on my mat and sweatily and dutifully move through all the poses. Ask me to move intuitively and dance with wild abandon, and I freeze like the proverbial deer in the headlights.
While I do believe that some things are best left unsaid, and we should use our words carefully, I also know that we are built to be in deep relationship with ourselves and others. Life would be less beautiful if we went through it alone. I want my children to know that they can share their heart's deepest desires and their mind's musings.
Like everything, children follow best when we lead by example, so I'm going to start sharing more and holding back less while still striving to use my words carefully. I'll allow myself to be seen and known in effort to allow my friendships to deepen.
There is a power in vulnerability. By allowing ourselves and our stories to be authentically known, we can find ourselves in deep connection with the web of life and know that we were in each other all along. I want that gift for my children. Who wouldn't?
To be seen. To be known. It's all we ever really want as humans. It takes great bravery, and it's really hard, but let's do it anyway.