Ahimsa

Ahimsa means lovingkindness or non-harming. It’s the first yama or guiding ethical principle of yoga, and all of the yamas and niyamas are based on the foundation of lovingkindness.

Lovingkindness means more to me than just non-harming. It means that with each decision we ask ourselves, “am I adding harm right now?’’

Of course, we will fall short. We’re all humans. There will be times when we respond with harshness when we wish we had responded with a soft voice. That’s ok. Bringing awareness to ourselves and our habits is part of the process, and that’s a way for us to find yoga off of the mat.

One of the most interesting things about ahimsa is that it starts with us. It is only by making sure we’re filling ourselves with lovingkindess that we can extend that feeling to everyone else. Taking time to move our bodies, eat nourishing foods, and stay connected to our friends are all ways we can show ourselves lovingkindess.

We can give ourselves time to rest.

Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is to give ourselves the space and time to rest. Rest does not just mean moving slowly. It means that instead of striving to be a platonic ideal we rest in the truth of who we are.

A few weeks ago, I taught a yoga sequence that I was really excited about. I did everything “right.” I wrote it down, and I went through the practice myself, but despite my preparations, the class fell flat. Left was right. Right was left. The class was confused. I was confused. As my students left the studio that day, I tried to put on a smiley face, but inside I had a sinking feeling. I felt like a failure.

What I have come to realize since then is that I was being totally unfair to myself. Yes, the movement portion of the class did not go as I had planned, but there were other aspects of the class that did go well. Also, how can we grow and learn if we don’t experiment?

The truth of who I am is that I’m not perfect. Striving to be so is antithetical to the concept of ahimsa because perfection can never be reached and continuing to strive for it just becomes self-flagellation.Instead, allowing room for myself to speak from the truth of who I am in whatever role I’m in is loving and kind because it allows me to move through the world with ease because I can accept all the pieces and parts of myself. And every time that I rest in that truth it gives the people around me permission to stop striving for perfection and instead rest in who they are.

Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. When I was younger and more cynical, I used to roll my eyes at all of the hearts, flowers, and chocolates that call to us from the end caps at big box stores. But now, I love it. My daughter and I both have heart sweaters to wear tomorrow. I plan to make my kids a special breakfast and special treats. The truth is that my ability to pour into them is directly proportional to my ability to pour into myself. The old axiom about not being able to pour from an empty cup continues to be true.

So, dear friends, save room for yourself. Let go of perfectionism and just try to do your best knowing that you’re a human and your best is going to change from day to day. And as an act of love for those around you, pour into yourself because it’s only from that place that you can pour into others.